Archive for the ‘Everyday D&D’ Category

Vamps

Friday, October 23rd, 2020

Big surprise here for the people who know me, but I do like the vampire. Don’t get me wrong: I know that the quote real unquote vampire is a disgusting creature that eats decaying bodies, more like a AD&D ghoul than Chris Lee in his movies. I also know that because vampires are made up that I can make them into whatever I want them to. If you want to have vampires look like an uglier Nosferatu, I am not going to stop you. I prefer ones that look like this:

Christopher Lee ; Dracula | Dracula, Hammer horror films, Vampire movies
This is an incredible cape/chair combination

Also working the favor of vampires, they get a lot of good songs written about them. Like this one by Roky Ericson, which has been excellently covered by the Fuzztones, among others.

Vampin’

Friday, October 23rd, 2020

Even now, despite being a bands for more than a decade, and listening to music for more than four, I am not real sure what vamping is. I think it is a relation of noodling and jamming and improvising but not quite any of those things. Even when I looked up the definition, it was a bunch of stuff about chords and measures, and things that a thrash drummer does not care about.

But in the wide world of Greyhawk, I am very familiar with vamping. It is when a bunch of high-level adventurers set out to kill a group of vampires. Unfortunately, this means that there is usually a powerful cleric involved, and I don’t love the religious, but vampires aren’t anything to take lightly, so one of St. Cuthbert’s minions comes along. Don’t even get me started on paladins, but again, they are generally really effective again Mr. Two-Fang, and they get an invite. All other fighters, barbarians, magic-users, thieves, assassins, and monks are encouraged to apply.

Get six friends involved, make sure there is plenty of holy water, several magical weapons, a bunch of spells and scrolls, and put an end to these creatures of the night. To be clear: I am not doing it because they are evil; I am doing it because they have lots and lots of treasure.

Stinking in the Den

Monday, October 19th, 2020

One piece of lore that has run throughout werewolf lore is that they stink. It might sense: my understanding, limited that it is, is that wolves have a particular smell. Ever smell a dog? I imagine that a wolf smells like a dog that has never been inside, never been given one of those treats that make their breath smell better, and never had a bath. Now mix that with a person who likely recently ripped another human into pieces, and there is going to be some funk.

Going back a couple posts, I talked about a likely adventure being getting hired by a local baron to kill a werewolf who has been stalking his barony. I don’t know if there are many detect scent spells running around for a 3rd-level cleric but that would be a mighty fine way to suss out where Wolfie is. At least, it would provide a lead, although I have a feeling that everyone in the barony who isn’t the baron probably smells.

Oh the Tailor Bills

Sunday, October 18th, 2020

In addition to all of the other terrible parts about being a werewolf: guilt at one’s deeds; smelling terribly after a three-day wolf binge; the chance that a silver bullet will end up in one’s hear; there also is the little detail of all of the clothes that are going to get ruined during lycanthropic transformation. This ruinous bill is only going to get worse if peasant Gildor is unware of the wolf coming through every month. There he is, eking out a living tilling a patch of land for the local baron and every 30 days, Gildor needs to pick up a new pair of rags to replace the old rags that he destroyed when he went wolf. Think that is cheap? Think again.

I don’t know about most of the rest of us, but if I was dropping a copper piece a month to replace rags with other rags, I would be non-plussed. Maybe Gildor steals from his victims, but I don’t think I would be organized enough as a werewolf to pull that off.

Lil’ Red Riding

Saturday, October 17th, 2020

We can’t go much farther in werewolf posts without acknowledging, for me, the single best werewolf song of them all: “Little Red Riding Hood” by the majestic Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs. As a mere youngling, this song scared the scat out of me; I can remember hearing it on the car radio around Halloween and thinking “Woah, who is singing this kind of song and how is it on the radio?” [Keep in mind that it was the late 70s and I didn’t have the accumulated knowledge I have now.] I was later amazed to find out that Sam the Sham also gave us “Wooly Bully,” which was confusing for me since it is/was a nickname of a type of sheep that people in my hamlet use. I didn’t know why people 30 years older than me were calling sheep the name of a song until I realized that they grew up right when the song was popular and I was the one out of chronological sequence.

Anywhoo, werewolves waiting around to eat children as these same children bring their housebound grandparents bread and milk is some dastardly stuff. I guess that is why they are chaotic evil.

I’m going to maul you.