Archive for the ‘Everyday D&D’ Category

Up from the Crypts

Sunday, October 16th, 2022

The crypt thing is a pretty weird example of a lurking skeleton wearing a hood in the dungeon. They guard their crypts and think about something since their intelligence is very, according to the Fiend Folio. They are neutral, so whatever they are thinking about is balanced/static/boring. They really like to mess with parties that enter their tombs.

The crypt thing’s greatest power is teleportation, but not of itself, but of the party. Low rollers end up getting teleported somewhere else; that somewhere can be 100 feet or an entire dungeon level. This has the potential to be very bad for everyone involved (except the crypt thing). Half the party suddenly finds themselves in the liar of an otyugh and the other half is still facing the crypt thing’s skeletal claws. Very bad indeed.

Grave Destroyers

Saturday, October 15th, 2022

I haven’t paid too much attention to the Nabassu in my learning or in my adventuring. As most of you know, I do my best to steer clear of the more powerful Abyssal denizens. Sure, I have been a killer for hire, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy it. If there were an easier way to make 1000 gold pieces in an afternoon, I would just as soon do that. But I don’t have magical powers or can’t scam a bunch of money out of the devout, so I need to keep the coins coming so I can keep the wine, women, and song coming.

These Nabassu types come to the Prime Material to “slay many humans, create evil undead, and wreak wickedness.” They also gain hit points by killing humans; once they get to 18, they are able to get back to the lower planes and set up a more comfortable, at least for a demon, pad. They have a lot of ways to kill a person: claws, bites, innate demon powers, and spells to name of few. On the whole, probably a demon to catch early on before they have time to mature.

All that said, give me a full sack of gold and I will send this 7-foot monster back to level 342 or wherever stinky Abyss they came from.


Friday, October 14th, 2022

I have no problem with necromancers, despite it being grudge month here at Perverse Osmosis. They are easy to spot for the most part, and they want to leave you alone, as long as you are an alive person.

I haven’t ever adventured, as far as I know, with a necromancer. Pyromancer: sure. Aquamancer: one time. Geomancer: yep and he was boring for a gnome. But an honest to Hades necromancer? Not to my knowledge.

I have seen people use raise dead or the much cooler slay living, which should be the name of a band. Only evil clerics can get away with using that one on the reg. Ford the Stalwart might be able to bust it out once, maybe twice, before St. Cuthbert or Pelor starts cutting off the upper-level mojo as retribution.

I far as I know, there hasn’t been an official ruling from either priesthood on using Slay Living as a band name.

Also, prime material music tip of the week: Gallower. I stumbled onto them a couple solar cycles ago, and their Behold the Realms of Darkness is really good. Concept album about the world of Gallower, which is sort of like living in Iuz’s kingdom. As importantly, at least for me, it is fast, furious thrash. Turns out the band also is rad. They send letters when you get merch and if I ever went to Poland, they would totally know who I was.

Unholy Sepulchre

Thursday, October 13th, 2022

Coffer Corpse: not really a zombie, too upright for a wight, treated as a wraith if the party’s cleric is going to turn or command it. It also has one of the best tricks going, especially if a DM wants to mess with a lower-lever party.

There you are: Merthid the Mighty, defender of all that is good and true, and you have just smashed a coffer corpse right in the head. Very smashed it in the head. So smashed that it falls to the ground, apparently dead. Jokes on you Mr. Mighty: old coffie can’t even be hurt by your normal weapons. Up he pops, clearly unharmed, and the next thing you know, you are rolling against fleeing in panic.

Smart parties will figure it out after a time or two, but it will be quite fun while it lasts.


Nightmares in the Church

Tuesday, October 11th, 2022

Things I learned today:
The Monster Manual 1st-edition nightmare is

  • smart
  • very difficult to hit
  • tough
  • willing to be ridden as a mount, which, to me, is a whole other commitment to selfish evil
  • devoid of treasure: that is how evil they are
  • hating on all material life
  • capable of snorting blinding smoke

All this time I assumed they were just mounts for stupid night hags [we already covered them], and they are so much more.