Archive for the ‘Everyday D&D’ Category

Get Your Hammer

Saturday, October 10th, 2020

I mentioned this idea in yesterday’s post, but skeletons often are the first time a beginning adventurer realizes that not every weapon works the same on every monster. Imagine getting lucky with the introductory starting money and rolling a 17. That gives Morth the Destructor 170 whole gold pieces to outfit himself. First thing he wants is a long sword: I mean, the dude is a fighter. What else do you want him to get?

Next, imagine Morth and his friends running into a few bandits on the edge of town. Morth’s trusty long sword does 1-8 h.p. of damage to these anonymous bandits, killing a couple of them [they aren’t very good bandits and only have put together padded armor]. Morth is starting to feeling really good about his choices in weapontry and in life.

Now, Morth and the party find an abandoned temple. Filled with confidence, Morth storms in, ready to swing his sword and cut some flesh. Alas, what is in front of him but creatures that don’t even have flesh? Undeterred, Morth drives his sword into the skeleton’s chest where its heart should be. But it is not, and Morth once-trusted blade is entangled in the rib cage, costing him precious seconds as the skeleton’s cronies move in for the attack.

We can call this lesson learned.

Mark-Ultra one time called Skeletonwitch “Non-ironic speed metal,” which is a dead-on description.

Boneus Eruptus

Friday, October 9th, 2020

I don’t think I have ever played a cleric. They seem a bit boring, given my interest in hacking and slashing and thieving and murdering, but that likely is just me. In our present 5e campaign, a long-time adventuring companion is working a half-orc cleric that has been extremely useful and quite intriguing. This leads me back to my original point that I may be the reason that I never played a cleric.

One thing that I do like about evil clerics is that instead of, or in addition to, turning skeletons or zombies or whatever, Zorgan the Deceiver also could command these creatures of the eve. Imagine stumbling into a crypt, having seven skeletons re-animate, and then turning those supposed enemies into fodder for the next crypt full of wights that are going to show up. If Zorgan is high enough level, he might be able to command those wights to join in before exploring the next crypt that might be inhabited by mummies.

Get Boned

Thursday, October 8th, 2020

Skeletons are another Halloween standard. Walk around any prime material plane neighborhood in the October season and it is likely that an articulated set of bones will be in someone’s window, smiling their mirthless smile of the dead. But that is part of their fun: who are we to say that being reanimated is all rotting and boredom?

Unlike the witch, skeletons are codified through pretty much every edition of AD&D and probably in every setting, except maybe Dark Sun, but I never played that setting so I would be arguing from ignorance there. Skeletons are perfect 1st-3rd level monsters. They give clerics a chance to work on their turning skills, they give fighters a chance to realize that not every weapon works against every type of monster, and they give thieves a chance to learn that just because it is dead doesn’t mean it has gold pieces, silver pieces, or even copper pieces.

Season of the Witch [Pt. 2]

Wednesday, October 7th, 2020

As we finish our last day on witches, we might as well do a pro/con list since who doesn’t love a pro/con list? Well, me usually [I am generally all pro], but in this case, I will make an exception.

* Often misunderstood village lass.
* Might use polymorph on the barbarian to hilarious results.
* Could have useful information about the cruel local baron.
* Potions, potions, potions.

* Could be a night hag, which is a whole other encounter.
* Might use polymorph on the barbarian with deadly results.
* No useful information about anyone.
* Bubbling cauldron that a certain thief accidentally upsets, spilling the liquid all over the place, leading to sticky shoes and limited movement.

Seasons of the Witch [Pt. 1]

Tuesday, October 6th, 2020

We have gone this far on witches, so why not a couple more posts about an NPC/monster that is not even listed in the Monster Manual? Someone on a Reddit thread made the argument that night hags are essentially witches: they show up at night, ride nightmares, are ugly, and display a host of other witch-like behaviors.

To them I say, if the night hag was supposed to be a witch, then our lord and master Gary would have called them a witch. I mean, before he got sued, he called treants “ents” and the halfling is a hobbit, so it isn’t like he was not going to go there. Going there was pretty much what Gary did. Granted it didn’t always go well for ol’ Gary [see above-mentioned comment on being sued], but give this to the guy, he was bold.

Really though, this post is an excuse to drop in this Zeke song that came out on a 7-inch and then again on Alive and Uncensored. It’s the season of the burning witch, and lawful types might be into that. For those of us working on a bit more of the chaotic front, burning witches is a little too close to religious tyranny. And you know what that means? Time to do a little burning of our own.