Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Seasons of the Witch [Pt. 1]

Tuesday, October 6th, 2020

We have gone this far on witches, so why not a couple more posts about an NPC/monster that is not even listed in the Monster Manual? Someone on a Reddit thread made the argument that night hags are essentially witches: they show up at night, ride nightmares, are ugly, and display a host of other witch-like behaviors.

To them I say, if the night hag was supposed to be a witch, then our lord and master Gary would have called them a witch. I mean, before he got sued, he called treants “ents” and the halfling is a hobbit, so it isn’t like he was not going to go there. Going there was pretty much what Gary did. Granted it didn’t always go well for ol’ Gary [see above-mentioned comment on being sued], but give this to the guy, he was bold.

Really though, this post is an excuse to drop in this Zeke song that came out on a 7-inch and then again on Alive and Uncensored. It’s the season of the burning witch, and lawful types might be into that. For those of us working on a bit more of the chaotic front, burning witches is a little too close to religious tyranny. And you know what that means? Time to do a little burning of our own.

October is the Best

Thursday, October 1st, 2020

In keeping with the fairly consistent annual tradition, Perverse Osmosis will be talking AD&D and obscure music for the best of all months. Long-time readers [all three of them] will know that we have traveled the paths of Slayer, The Misfits, The Dead Kennedys, Zeke, and 80s metal to name a few. This time around, we will be looking at classic Halloween characters–witches, skeletons, zombies, and their ilk. So buckle up boneheads, this ride is about to get interesting.

To get you in the mood, here is a very fast version of “Halloween” from the Misfits 1983 tour:

Holy Dyvers

Sunday, August 2nd, 2020

After spending three nights getting re-supplied in Greyhawk, we hopped back on our well-worn saddles and made the overnight trip to Dyvers. In case you don’t know, and I really didn’t until I went through its large gates, is that Dyvers is pretty damn rich. They are at a nexus of several trade routes, and there is decent Nyr Dyv access. But I doubt anyone is reading this travel journal for economic policy history.

Know what rich places have in abundance? Rich people. I probably saw a half-score of those human/demi-human/humanoid chariot things, where someone is carried around by six or eight folks that have 15 or greater strength. I don’t even know what one of those things is called, but I know enough to know that it costs more than I make in a typical adventure just to keep one of those going.

Another thing rich places have are places to eat. Want to eat carp from the Azure Sea served to you by a wood elf? You can do it. Want a big hunk of reindeer meat? Well, head down to the Barbarian Bar-B-Q and prepare to eat. Plants more your thing? One of the street markets we walked by had six types of halfling radish.

Another thing rich places are is expensive. Do not go to Dyvers if you have to worry about money. The meals I talked about above all ran well over 5 gps per person, plus merry juice is expensive. Dyvers is orderly, so don’t think you can pull a fast one here. But if you have the money, Dyvers offers a lot for the tasteful adventurer.

  • Why did we go there? It was close, and I hadn’t really explored it.
  • What is there that is interesting? Lots of rich people, lots of restaurants and taverns, expensive stuff.
  • Would we go again? You bet. If price doesn’t matter, there are a lot of good places to rest one’s weary head, get a filling meal, and relax in a safe, orderly, prosperous city.

Up next: Getting gnarly in the Gnarly Forest.

John Saxon: Off to Fight Freddy Somewhere Else

Thursday, July 30th, 2020

Long-time character actor John Saxon died this week. Saxon is best known, at least according to high-brow sources, as one of the participants/willing beat-down participants in Bruce Lee’s Enter the Dragon (1973). Don’t get me wrong: Saxon is pretty rad in Dragon and wears some impressive robes.

However, to yours truly, his best role is as Nancy Thompson’s Sheriff Dad in Nightmare on Elm Street (1983). Granted, he mistakenly arrests Rod, which leads to Rod’s death in jail, and he is understandably a bit skeptical of his daughter’s claims that a dirty-hat wearing spectral child murder is responsible for all the carnage. That said, he comes through in the end, using some of those cop breaking-and-entering skills so he can save his daughter.

Mostly I think he is great in this movie because it was either the first or second horror movie that I saw that really scared me. I am talking about not being able to sleep and assuming that every sound was Freddy coming to give me the ol’ slash and stab type of scared. But, knowing that John Saxon was out there gave me a little hope that I might survive.

John Saxon 1958.jpg

Once again, back from the dead

Thursday, July 9th, 2020

They tried to keep us down. Whomever it was–Planet Spammer, Russian trolls, Waterdeep trolls, John Birch Society members–managed to hijack the contact/email form of your beloved Perverse Osmosis, which, in turn, led the site getting suspended.

But these dastardly dastards were not going to get the final word in. After actually spending time and a fairly modest amount of gold pieces, we are back, ready to spew forth all anyone ever wanted to know about grells, gnolls, the various Gith races, gibbering mouthers, and other monsters that may or may not begin with G.

To the future.