Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Necromancers

Friday, October 14th, 2022

I have no problem with necromancers, despite it being grudge month here at Perverse Osmosis. They are easy to spot for the most part, and they want to leave you alone, as long as you are an alive person.

I haven’t ever adventured, as far as I know, with a necromancer. Pyromancer: sure. Aquamancer: one time. Geomancer: yep and he was boring for a gnome. But an honest to Hades necromancer? Not to my knowledge.

I have seen people use raise dead or the much cooler slay living, which should be the name of a band. Only evil clerics can get away with using that one on the reg. Ford the Stalwart might be able to bust it out once, maybe twice, before St. Cuthbert or Pelor starts cutting off the upper-level mojo as retribution.

I far as I know, there hasn’t been an official ruling from either priesthood on using Slay Living as a band name.

Also, prime material music tip of the week: Gallower. I stumbled onto them a couple solar cycles ago, and their Behold the Realms of Darkness is really good. Concept album about the world of Gallower, which is sort of like living in Iuz’s kingdom. As importantly, at least for me, it is fast, furious thrash. Turns out the band also is rad. They send letters when you get merch and if I ever went to Poland, they would totally know who I was.

Unholy Sepulchre

Thursday, October 13th, 2022

Coffer Corpse: not really a zombie, too upright for a wight, treated as a wraith if the party’s cleric is going to turn or command it. It also has one of the best tricks going, especially if a DM wants to mess with a lower-lever party.

There you are: Merthid the Mighty, defender of all that is good and true, and you have just smashed a coffer corpse right in the head. Very smashed it in the head. So smashed that it falls to the ground, apparently dead. Jokes on you Mr. Mighty: old coffie can’t even be hurt by your normal weapons. Up he pops, clearly unharmed, and the next thing you know, you are rolling against fleeing in panic.

Smart parties will figure it out after a time or two, but it will be quite fun while it lasts.

Surprise

Nightmares in the Church

Tuesday, October 11th, 2022

Things I learned today:
The Monster Manual 1st-edition nightmare is

  • smart
  • very difficult to hit
  • tough
  • willing to be ridden as a mount, which, to me, is a whole other commitment to selfish evil
  • devoid of treasure: that is how evil they are
  • hating on all material life
  • capable of snorting blinding smoke

All this time I assumed they were just mounts for stupid night hags [we already covered them], and they are so much more.

Mind Taking

Monday, October 10th, 2022

I don’t think I remember fighting an intellect devourer. But isn’t that the most likely result of battling one of the most feared, at least by first wave Underdark status, monsters going? Part of their deal is to make you mindless so they can embody your fleshsack and scare other people. Now that I try to think about it, these guys suck. That is a terrible thing to do to a person.

I think I know what the other theme of October is this year: the month of the grudge. From this point on, I hold a grudge against intellectual devourers. I don’t have a problem with playing dirty, but this is beyond the pale.

Mark of the Chainsaw

Friday, October 7th, 2022

The Village of Hommlet (T1 for those scoring at home) features a pretty good cult leader: Lareth the Beautiful. He’s young, he’s handsome, he’s well endowed in abilities and aptitudes (module’s words, not mine). He is also capricious, wicked, and depraved: again, good cult leader material. He is part of a plan by Lolth to take over the village or something like that, but you know the Drow. They couldn’t organize a bake sale.

He is the big bad at the end of the module, and his staff of striking probably took out a lot of stumbling first-level fighters and clumsy thieves. He probably charmed a bunch of them into joining his cult. He probably would have done both those things to me if I had ever played this module. But it was one of those I only read.