Get Your Hammer

I mentioned this idea in yesterday’s post, but skeletons often are the first time a beginning adventurer realizes that not every weapon works the same on every monster. Imagine getting lucky with the introductory starting money and rolling a 17. That gives Morth the Destructor 170 whole gold pieces to outfit himself. First thing he wants is a long sword: I mean, the dude is a fighter. What else do you want him to get?

Next, imagine Morth and his friends running into a few bandits on the edge of town. Morth’s trusty long sword does 1-8 h.p. of damage to these anonymous bandits, killing a couple of them [they aren’t very good bandits and only have put together padded armor]. Morth is starting to feeling really good about his choices in weapontry and in life.

Now, Morth and the party find an abandoned temple. Filled with confidence, Morth storms in, ready to swing his sword and cut some flesh. Alas, what is in front of him but creatures that don’t even have flesh? Undeterred, Morth drives his sword into the skeleton’s chest where its heart should be. But it is not, and Morth once-trusted blade is entangled in the rib cage, costing him precious seconds as the skeleton’s cronies move in for the attack.

We can call this lesson learned.

Mark-Ultra one time called Skeletonwitch “Non-ironic speed metal,” which is a dead-on description.

Comments are closed.