Perverse Osmosis Kobold Swarm - Perverse Osmosis

Kobold Swarm

DDKoboldThey tried to ambush us in the cave, but those kobolds didn’t know that I really hated kobolds. Hated them in a way that only a dwarf could hate a kobold. Part of the hatred stems from the height similarities; there is something specifically hate producing about looking an ancestral enemy right in eyes, to see the those eyes bug or dim or close. Much different than fighting orcs or hobgoblins where most of the action is dwarf on groin.

I heard the distinct “click” of a pit trap unlocking, and, if I can brag, I pulled off an amazing save. As the pit started to open, I jumped forward and pulled my legs up. I landed on the other side of the pit; the leap and land came off like I meant do it. Which I did, but I had no idea how graceful it would feel. It is not often a dwarf feels graceful. After sticking the landing, I drew the Gobliminator, my trusty long sword, and moved deeper into the cave.

The first of the kobolds came out of the darkness, screaming in their typical “Yee-barrk” fashion. Armed with a club, he swung at my head. Moving forward, I ducked the blow and brought the sword upward; it split through his hide and blood started spewing. The screaming stopped. I bent over to minimize my chest area and continued down. My infravision was kicking in, and I could see three more shapes came at me.

I charged forward and smashed into the center kobold, feeling his little bones break under my helmet. As we collided, I drove my sword towards the right. I did not plan to hit the other kobold; I only wanted to distract him. But I got lucky and my slash drew blood, lots of blood. Rolling off the crushed kobold, I quickly got to my feet and spun towards the uninjured one. He stood there, staring at me; his teeth bared. I could smell him. Then an arrow bloomed from his neck, and I knew that my party had joined the battle.

When fighting kobolds, the biggest fear has to be their overwhelming numbers. One on one, the average kobold offers little resistance: thirty of them is trouble. The key is to kill them all and kill them quickly. From the looks of the melee’, the snooty paladin and that weird snow barbarian we found on the outside of town also knew the rule of kobold combat. The barbarian had dropped his axe, instead grabbing the kobolds with his hands and smashing them into each other. The paladin’s sword was rhythmically working its way through a mob of three or four. Count in the three that I killed, there must have been ten or twelve bodies on the floor.

I heard rather than felt the club that smashed into my head; two adventures ago, I had stumbled onto this fine old dwarven helmet. I don’t think it is magical, but it is the best headgear I have owned. I pivoted to the right and slashed upward. The kobold barked as I cut through his upper thigh; I closed up my left fist and punched and could feel his nose break. I pushed his body out of the way and ran towards the magic-user. Where there are magic-users, there are kobolds. Again, overwhelming numbers is the only kobold battle plan.

I lowered my head and drove my helmet into the back of the nearest one. The air rushed out of him, and the kobold collapsed. Continuing my charge, I stabbed the next kobold in the upper back; the Gobliminator slipped nicely into and through him. I pulled the blade out as we both fell. My vision was briefly obscured by kobold blood and then a sharp pain in my shoulder. I had been stabbed. I knew it wasn’t terrible, kobold blows are seldom fatal, but I also knew that three or four of those stabs would be.

I rolled left, away from the stab. I saw the spinning image of a kobold right itself and struck with my sword. The kobold tried to duck but it was no use. I had already factored his movement into my strike and the sword ran across his ugly face, popping an eye. I leapt over his body, scanning for movement. All I saw was bodies, lots of bodies, some in heaps, some in parts.

Stone and lichen became their grave.



The cave ahead branches out into three distinct tunnels:

Anunusual,putrid stenchemanatesfrom thefirst tunnel, which seems to slope into deepersubterraneandepths.

The sounds of a raucousdinner party mingle with an aroma of food coming from thesecond tunnel.

A coldbreezeblows from thethird tunnel, bringing with it a hint of rotting flesh.

Which of the three paths do your choose?

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      Kobold Swarm

Sing Along!

They tried to ambush us in the cave
Stone and lichen became their grave
Hit the pit trap but made the save

Crossbow bolts and half-size spears
Their hideous barking in our ears
Overwhelming numbers our only fear

Swarm, swarm, swarm kobold
swarm, swarm, swarm kobold
swarm, swarm, swarm, kobold swarm

Dropped some oil in hopes to burn us
Turned their lair into a fiery furnace
Create Water ends the threat around us

There might be 20 or 40
but their reign ends very shortly
in the hands of this great party

Swarm, swarm, swarm kobold
swarm, swarm, swarm kobold
swarm, swarm, swarm, kobold swarm!