Perverse Osmosis Skeleton Dinner Party - Perverse Osmosis

Skeleton Dinner Party

skeletondinnerpartyWith the exception of some bloody bandages and a dented shield or two, it would be hard to tell that the party had already fought its way through an encounter. Ahead of the group, faintly visible in the lantern light, was another door.

The party moved aside as the small halfling padded his way to the barrier. He put his ear up to the wood and waited. The look on his face communicated to the rest of the characters that he could hear nothing. Reaching under his jerkin, Liligar removed a small thieves tools kit, opened it, and selected a slender piece of metal. He deftly moved the pick in and out of the keyhole, occasionally jiggling it. For a couple rounds, the party did nothing but watch as the nimble halfling picked the lock. A small smile crossed his face, and he waved the party forward.

Dorengar and Rordricke took their usual positions at the front of the party; they were comically mismatched in size: the dwarf, stocky and coming up to the paladins slender waist. But the size mismatch meant nothing during battle, as the battles with the kobolds demonstrated. Following them were the barbarian and Karyn, Priestess of Wenta. The barbarians quickness more than offset the clumsy gait and bulky figure of the cleric. The four characters drew in breath, grabbed swords, axes, and maces more tightly, and burst into the room.

Although all four adventurers had seen many unusual sights in their brief lives, what they saw upon entering this room was new to all of them. Eight skeletons sitting around a dinner table, each dressed in elegant coats or jackets. As they sat, they mechanically raised goblets filled with what looked to be wine to their lips and drank. The wine spilled out of fleshless faces and onto the floor, where it vanished. Knives and forks clicked on plates as meat of some sort was cut and eaten, only to have it fall back onto the plate.

The barbarians superstitious blood couldnt take it the eerie scene. With the battle cry of his ancestors at his lips, he pushed aside the dwarf and the paladin, raising his axe for the attack. He swung its pitted but dangerous blade in a wide arc; one of the skeletons put a goblet-holding hand in front of the blade in an effort to stop it. The axe crashed through skeletal bone, continuing its path through the skeletons rib cage. Two of the other undead diners slowly rose out of their chairs and moved towards Imlari, one holding a rusty cutlass in one hand and a mug in the other.

And then they stopped.

Karyn stood in front of the party, holding a golden sickle and wreath, the icons of Lady Wenta, Goddess of the Harvest. Go no further. Your time here is passed; return to the dust, she commanded. The skeletons looked at the cleric with blank eyes. She held her ground. Stay where you are. Lady Wenta will reward you with rest, she continued. Neither side moved.

The pause in the combat was all that Dorengar needed. He pulled his vial of oil from his pouch and threw it at the candles still burning on the table. The flask broke on contact, spreading oil in all directions. The candles tipped over; one of the candles fell against the curtains, starting a fire. Imlari grabbed a log from the fireplace and swung it around like a club. He caught one of the skeletons directly on top of its head, driving the skeletal face into the unappetizing food. The dwarf and the barbarian moved towards the burning curtain.

Karyn saw the burning curtain as well. Taking another step forward, she closed the distance between her and the held skeletons. One of the skeletons took a step backwards, directly into a burning spot of oil. Its shinbones caught fire and began to smoke. She took another step towards the other skeleton. It stared at her, unable to move, unable to flee.

Imlari swung his club at the held skeleton, catching it right beneath the shoulder blades. The wooden club shattered rather than broke the ribs of the undead. Bits of bone flew off, and the barbarian lost his balance. He fell towards the burning curtain, stumbling into one of the remaining skeletons and toppling it as well. Both fell into the fire. Imlari felt the skeleton break as he landed on top of it and then the sharp agony of burning.

Dorengar saw the barbarian falling into the fire, but that did not stop him from pulling the burning curtain down. He ripped the fabric off the wall and directly onto the remaining skeletons and Imlari. One of the skeletons was only partially caught, and it moved towards the unprepared dwarf. It stuck at him with skeletal claw; there was nothing the dwarf could do but take the painful scratch to the face. Dorengar regained his balance, grabbing a smoldering chair. The skeleton moved in, attacking with both hands. The first attack tore another strip in the dwarfs skin; the second was blocked with now-burning armchair.

The cleric felt the power move through her and gather at the sickle. The golden icon began to slightly hum and glow. Karyn moved the symbol towards two skeletons and watched as both turned to run. But there was no escape. The curtain spread fire over all the tables and the skeletons. The paladin had rescued the barbarian from the burning curtain; the dwarf was beating his opponent into the ground with his inferno chair. The halfling had already begun to loot the room, and the magic-user and assassin had taken up defensive positions at the door.

Karyn thought this had the makings of a great adventure.


The room is a dead end, but there are two closed doors on either side of the far wall:

From behind the first door on the left you hear the sounds of a rollicking dance party.

From behind the second door on the right you hear the sound of yelping and scuttling.

Do you choose to enter the door on the left or the door on the right?

{ Currently playing in VERBOSE mode. - Switch to TERSE - }
      Skeleton Dinner Party

Sing Along!

I don't know how they ate so much -- they haven't got any guts
All the food shoved in their face falls right back onto their plates
Dressed in elegant finery just like on a tour of a winery
When they started to attack us, they very smartly removed their jackets

Forever eating, forever guarding
Forever wining, forever dining
Skeleton! Dinner! Party!

Edged weapons are no defense against their enchanted condiments
First the cleric rolled to turn them, then the dwarf rolled to burn them
Barbarian smashed two with his club; drove their faces into their grub
We ended their reanimation with our trail of annihilation

Forever eating, forever guarding
Forever wining, forever dining
Skeleton! Dinner! Party!

We smashed all that we were able -- put their elbows on the table
Used the wrong knife and fork -- I'm not some cultured cavalier dork
Spilled the gravy and broke a dish -- These skeletons are gonna wish
That their seats had been taken and they'd cancelled their dinner reservations.

They're no longer eating, no longer guarding
No longer wining, no longer dining
No more skeleton dinner party!