Perverse Osmosis Wand of Wonder - Perverse Osmosis

Wand of Wonder

Wand of WonderYou found the wand before getting talked into this adventure, but it never worked until now. The cave suddenly goes dark and you trip, hear a click, and things start getting confusing. First the lightning bolt, then hundreds of butterflies, then an elephant, then a stream of gems.

You feel the wand heat up before it releases three fireballs; no one in the party seems hurt, but it is difficult to tell in the quick-moving light of the burning balls. You move towards the party, and the wand vibrates again, but there are no explosions or animals or gems. Maybe the wand has run out of power.

You talk to the paladin first. “Rordricke, I can’t stop making this wand work.” The paladin looks around, asking “Who said that?” as he slowly draws his blade.

“I’m right here in front of you” is your response.

“In front of me where?”

You feel the wand jump in your hand and tap the paladin lightly on the arm. You start screaming when you realized what you’ve done; you have turned the paladin’s flesh to stone. Why had he not seen you? Why didn’t he move out of the way? You feel the wand buckle one more time. Around you stand the members of the party, weapons drawn and looking unhappy. You wish you were invisible again, and wish as well that the cleric had stone to flesh memorized.


The path ahead seems safe and well-lit.

A spiral stair case in the corner leads upwards.

Do you follow the path straight ahead or take the stairs up?


{ Currently playing in TERSE mode. - Switch to VERBOSE - }
      Wand of Wonder

Sing Along!

From among the gems and golden pieces and the piles of kobold feces
lift up with telekinesis a nondescript wooden wand.
Plain in sight, plain in heft, plain when tasted, plain when sniffed
wave the twiglet, sweet and swift -- now the rest of the treasure's gone!

Wand of wonder, make it dark
Wand of wonder, shoot a spark
Wand of wonder, butterflies
Wand of wonder, someone dies

Its magic you cannot explain -- you waved it, got a heavy rain
you summoned 40 elephaints and leaves grew on them too
You can't see a thing before your eyes but the fluttering of butterflies
the giant is now giant size -- it's all because of you!

Wand of wonder confuses us
Wand of wonder, rhinoceros
Wand of wonder, gust of wind
Wand of wonder, not again

You barely dodged the fireball, and now you feel invincible
surrounded by grass and one inch tall and you've turned your flesh to stone

Wand of wonder, call a mouse
Wand of wonder, stinking cloud
Wand of wonder, fireball
Wand of wonder does it all

Wand of wonder -- not again!