Perverse Osmosis Mongrelman Shantytown - Perverse Osmosis

Mongrelman Shantytown

mongrelmanshantytownYou are surprised when a creature begins to walk towards you, holding a plate of food out in its claw-like hands. The creature looks like it is made from the parts of several other demi-humans and monsters with misshapen eyes and hunched back. You watch as the figure offers the dwarf the plate; you then feel slightly woozy and realize that it is not a mongrelman offering Dorengar the plate, it is a disguised hobgoblin. As you draw your sword, a blast of flame engulfs the hobgoblin. As he screams, you see many other figures running out of hiding places, trying to surround you.

You run towards the nearest hobgoblins, but slow slightly when you realize that they aren’t hobgoblins — they now look more like xvarts. Unsure how you mistook the two humanoids for each other, you engage one in combat, dispatching it with a quick jab. Two others fall to your blade, and you take the time to survey the battlefield. All of the party is engaged in melee: the half-orc methodically shoots his crossbow, the barbarian screams and jumps from scrum to scrum. You snap back to attention as three more monsters engage you. You are again confused when you identify the attackers as orcs instead of the xvarts you saw a round ago. Ignoring the problem for now, you smash through their defenses, leaving their motionless bodies in your wake.


Wading through the corpses of mongrelmans you come upon another fork in the cave. Unfortunately, something horrid sounds like it is happening down both forks.

From the tunnel on the left comes the various sounds of giant wings flapping and a wild animal roaring.

From the tunnel on the right comes the sounds of hysterical laughter and screaming.

Do you take the tunnel to the left or the tunnel to the right?


{ Currently playing in TERSE mode. - Switch to VERBOSE - }
      Mongrelman Shantytown

Sing Along!

Half bollywog and half dwarven gnome
Mongrelman Shantytown is my home
At least it was until they came by
And now all the mongrelmans can do is cry

Saw them coming from my camouflage pit
Used mimicry to yell 'yip! yip!'
Sent out the chieftain to talk to them
Ask them all to be our friends

One pulled out a magic staff
Tore chief Snarflu right in half
Threw their torches to the ground
Razed the houses in my town

Mongrelman Shantytown, everyone wears a frown
'cause they burned the houses down, Mongrelman Shantytown
Mongrelman Shantytown, everyone wears a frown
'cause they burned the houses down, Mongrelman Shantytown

Some attacked them with their claws
Others biting with their jaws
But there was nothing that we could do
They had shields that were +2

Their fighter had a mighty blade
Put many a mongrelman in her grave
Their half-orc cleric attacked our young
Through their skulls his hammer swung

I used the tunnel to lurk and hide
Watching all my townsfolk die
There was nothing that I could do
Our tribe of mongrelmen is through!

[chorus (1/2)] . . . Mongrelman Shantytown [x12]