Perverse Osmosis Mongrelman Shantytown - Perverse Osmosis

Mongrelman Shantytown

mongrelmanshantytownI am the last remaining mongrelman of my tribe. We lived in relative peace in the cave complex. The goblins and the kobolds were smart enough to leave us alone; we didn’t have enough treasure to draw the attention of the beholders or kua-toa that live deeper in the caves; there was always plenty of refuse and trash to go through. It wasn’t a perfect life Meriadar knows there is no perfect life but as far as mongrelmen go, we had it pretty good.

At least we did until they came by. One of those typical parties that hunts through these caves looking for lost maidens or hidden treasure. This party had it all: at least one magic-user, multiple fighters, an unpleasant-looking half-orc . Parties like this usually don’t spend much time worrying about mongrelmen, and we don’t spend much time worrying about them. All-powerful Meriadar teaches to respect the law and the importance of order; a mongrelmen’s word is their bond, and most parties appriciate that. But for some reason, this party was not a typical party.

I watched as wise Chief Snarflu walked out of his cabin, holding the traditional mongrelmen token of welcome: a platter with some food on it. Meriadar wishes all creation to eat, and nothing that moves through our village is allowed to go hungry. Snarflu moved towards the party, his clawed hand out in the traditional gesture of friendship. Then a bolt of fire ripped through Snarflu’s chest; I could smell the mixture of our chief’s flesh and the fish he had on the platter. Snarflu, who had led my village for longer than I had been alive fell to the ground. Another fire ball erupted from the party and crashed into Gilnor the Blacksmith’s shop, immediately lighting it on fire.

I was amazed by my tribe’s courage. Out of all of the remaining houses and hidden pits came mongrelmen, mongrelwomen, and mongrelchildren. Some were armed with clubs, some with torches, some with only their hands or claws. These brave children of Meriadar defended our homes with their lives. I saw Tb’yee attack an armored fighter with only his jaws, and I saw another mongrelman driving his claw into the back of halfling. Three of my classmates swarmed another of the fighters but could not penetrate his armor and shield. The half-orc was surrounded by five children, children who should have been playing a peaceful game of Hoo-wyn, but were instead fighting for their lives.

Everywhere I looked there was blood, fire, and chaos. Another of their fighters hacked down five or more of my friends, his blade leaving long scarlet marks on their bodies. The half-orc smashed the heads of the little mongrelchildren who surrounded him. One turned to run, and he struck her down from behind; the head of his hammer driving into the back of her head. All of the buildings in the town were ablaze: my school, the farm store, all of them. I ducked deeper into my pit when one of the party started walking my direction.

I quickly moved some of the dirt and rock over me. I also grabbed a handful of the weeds that grow in cavern and put them over my face; this way I could see and still be hidden. I trusted that the darkness of the pit and my quick disguise would be enough. I heard footsteps approach, then stop. I waited, holding my breath. The footsteps moved away from my pit and started up the slight rise. I moved a few inches and looked out. I could see a green cloak heading away from me. I peeped my head out a little more and looked back down at the town. The massacre was complete. All I could see through the smoke were stilled mongrelmen bodies. Occasionally one of the upright party members would kick one of the bodies to make sure no life remained. I took one last look and hid again.

I waited until I could hear no more rough commands or ghastly laughter, and I ventured out of my hiding place. The fires had burned themselves out, and everything was bathed in the dim reddish color of burning coals. I made the “kilk-cool” call, hoping that some other mongrelman also survived. There was no response. I tried again; all I could hear was the popping of sparks. Mongrelman Shantytown was no more.


Wading through the corpses of mongrelmans you come upon another fork in the cave. Unfortunately, something horrid sounds like it is happening down both forks.

From the tunnel on the left comes the various sounds of giant wings flapping and a wild animal roaring.

From the tunnel on the right comes the sounds of hysterical laughter and screaming.

Do you take the tunnel to theleftor the tunnel to theright?


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      Mongrelman Shantytown

Sing Along!

Half bollywog and half dwarven gnome
Mongrelman Shantytown is my home
At least it was until they came by
And now all the mongrelmans can do is cry

Saw them coming from my camouflage pit
Used mimicry to yell 'yip! yip!'
Sent out the chieftain to talk to them
Ask them all to be our friends

One pulled out a magic staff
Tore chief Snarflu right in half
Threw their torches to the ground
Razed the houses in my town

Mongrelman Shantytown, everyone wears a frown
'cause they burned the houses down, Mongrelman Shantytown
Mongrelman Shantytown, everyone wears a frown
'cause they burned the houses down, Mongrelman Shantytown

Some attacked them with their claws
Others biting with their jaws
But there was nothing that we could do
They had shields that were +2

Their fighter had a mighty blade
Put many a mongrelman in her grave
Their half-orc cleric attacked our young
Through their skulls his hammer swung

I used the tunnel to lurk and hide
Watching all my townsfolk die
There was nothing that I could do
Our tribe of mongrelmen is through!

[chorus (1/2)] . . . Mongrelman Shantytown [x12]