Perverse Osmosis Troll Wedding Ceremony - Perverse Osmosis

Troll Wedding Ceremony

TrollsThe troll cleric tugged at his filthy vestments as he waited for the ceremony to begin. Around him, he could see the faces of most of the trolls that lived in the area. It was one of the things that he liked most about weddings: it brought the community together, giving distant relations the opportunity to see each other and war leaders to subtly examine the next generation of troll warriors. To pass the time, Krimlok made a quick count of the gathering, and he stopped when he got to forty, not because he ran out of trolls to count, but because he heard the hush indicating that the soon-to-be married couple had appeared.

Krimlok stopped fidgeting and began the unearthly keening that passes for singing in troll communities. Soon, the rest of the wedding party had joined in, raising their voices in praise of Vaprak the Destroyer, Vaprak the Mighty, Varprak the Rapacious. The troll couple walked down the aisle, singing in unison with their families and the priest. When they had worked their way through the crowd, they stood in front of the cleric, who raised his hands for silence.

Krimlok began the litany, recounting to the assembled the mating of Vaprak and Othea under the dark moonlight of Kirloon. The cleric told of the resulting offspring: Anori, Hakuni, and Mauj, and how these children had spread throughout the lands, bringing fire and destruction on the lesser races. He reminded the gathered trolls that they were also the offspring of this mating, that the blood of Vaprak also flowed in their veins, and that all trolls should remember this holy connection.

Krimlok then drew the ceremonial knife from its scabbard. The two trolls who stood in front of the priest held out their left hands. With two short swings, the troll cut the hands of the couple off; the appendages falling to the ground with a thump. After receiving a sign from the priest, the male troll picked up his mates hand and held it next to his own bleeding stump. The female troll followed suit. The native regeneration properties of trolls started their work, and Krimlok could see the hands begin to rejoin the flesh. Soon, the troll couple would have each others hands, a lasting symbol of their fealty to one another and of Vapraks undying power.

Returning the ceremonial sword to its scabbard, the cleric waited a moment as the couple presented their newly-attached hands to the wedding guests. After this brief pause, the ceremony continued. From underneath his vestments, Krimlok drew a sharpened stone, a stone that had been passed down from priest to priest, and motioned to the couple. They came forth, proudly bearing their chests. The cleric drove the stone knife deep into the breast of the male and then with another stab, cut a hole in the bride. Once the wounds were opened, the cleric asked for the heartholders, trolls selected ahead of time by the families to hold the beating hearts of the couple in the moments before the hearts are exchanged. Two grizzled warriors came forth with open hands. Krimlok stuck his hand into the male trolls chest and pulled forth his beating heart, placing it gently into the hands of the holder. He repeated the process with the woman troll.

The cleric then took the males heart from its holder, recited the ceremonial words, and put the heart into the chest of his soon-to-be bride. He then grabbed the dripping heart of the female troll and slid into in her husbands breast. As one, the crowd murmured its thanks to Vaprak. Krimlok smiled down at the couple; he saw that the exchanged hearts were already pumping dark red toll blood. While he was not one to spend much time in self-reflectionVaprack wanted doers, not thinkersthe cleric always felt good about this part of his duties. There was a sensation in this binding together that brought him suspiciously close to happiness.

The mostly quiet cavern was interrupted by the smashing of a door. All heads turned towards the sound; who or what would dare intrude on this gathering of trolls? Perfectly framed in the doorway stood the armored figure of a dwarf, sword in hand. Behind him, Krimlok could see a human fighter, also armed with a longsword and carrying a silver shield. The two parties looked at each other; the dwarf took three steps into the room, and the battle was joined.

Krimlok watched as more than a dozen enraged trolls ran to meet the intruders. The dwarfs movement into the room opened space for more of the party to engage; through the doorway, Krimlok saw three or four more characters take up their positions. Oil was thrown, as were torches; the priest saw two of trolls burst into flame as they grappled with a leather-clad human. Three other trolls isolated a chain-mailed ranger, who fought valiantly against their relentless attacks. More trolls moved to cut off the partys retreat, hoping to seal the doorway, effectively encircling the adventurers. Burning fire spurted from the hands of an half-elf, engulfing a troll completely in flames. But another troll evaded the fiery attack and struck the magician with a dirty claw, which left behind long ragged wounds.

Although Krimlok was disappointed that the wedding was interrupted, he also looked forward with joy to the feast that was about to take place. The only thing that Vaprak looked more favorably upon than troll weddings was eating the bodies of his slaughtered enemies.
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      Troll Wedding Ceremony

Sing Along!

In the shadow of this grim cavern
Distant from the burning kiss of light
We link the undying life of these

Chorus:
Trolls in marriage, hands exchanged
Trolls in marriage, heads exchanged
Trolls in marriage, hearts exchanged
Trolls in marriage, treat 'em the same!

When powerful Vaprak met Othea
And they exchanged flesh underneath the dim light of Kirloon
Siring the three sons Anori, Hakuni, and Muaj
Deep within his pitiful cavern at the darkest edge of
Shatterstone's enormous cliffs -- 524th layer of the sweet abyss

[chorus]

Love regenerates like your trollen flesh
Fed with the blood of dwarven kind
Continue the line of our dread lord Vaprak

[chorus]