Perverse Osmosis Tiger in an Ascot - Perverse Osmosis

Tiger in an Ascot

RakshasaAs the hidden door swings open, you see what looks like a nicely furnished room at an inn. There are paintings on the wall, the floor is carpeted, and you can smell the faint smell of incense in the air. All around, there are signs of opulence, and you can already see the thief calculating the prices that he would get for the paintings back in Greyhawk.

Taking a few steps into the room, you begin to feel a slight tingling at the back of your neck. You know what this feeling means: trouble.

From behind one of the painting comes a flash of a magic missile. You watch in horror as the projectile flies into the eye of the ranger, dropping him to the ground. Drawing your mace, you rush towards the portion of the wall where the spell was cast. Screaming your war cry to Lady Westra, you begin to swing the heavy weapon. It is only then that you realize that you are face to face with a tiger in an ascot. His mixture of dignified clothing and malevolent countenance throw off your concentration, and your attack goes high and wide, the mace smashing into the wall. He gives you a toothy smile as he reaches out for you. . .


Your adventure has ended

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      Tiger in an Ascot

Sing Along!

This is a song about a tiger -- a tiger in an ascot.

The cave seemed so beautiful, as happy as could be
But not a single hint or clue of the upcoming butchery . . .

Many tasteful paintings were hanging on the wall
The thief was busy calculating the value of them all
But in the air around us, there was a fragrant smell
Little did the party know we were doomed to hell!

A tiger! A tiger! A tiger in an ascot!
A tiger! A tiger! But he's nobody's mascot!
A tiger! A tiger! A tiger in an ascot!
A tiger! A tiger! Hope the paladin gives him gut rot!

Ranger was the first to go, magic missile in his eye
Cleric drew her +2 mace, not at all afraid to die
Swung the weapon at him, but she only rolled a 5
That miss ended any chance of getting out alive!


Thief stabs the assassin, assassin stabs the thief
Two more foolish victims of his telepathic feats
Fighter tries to save us with his crossbow of speed
Shot the paladin several times -- another illusionary deed!