Perverse Osmosis Tiger in an Ascot - Perverse Osmosis

Tiger in an Ascot

RakshasaIt was a quite a well-decorated cave for being this deep in the dungeon complex. Liligar was already calculating the value of the intricate paintings and tapestries that hung on the wall; he thought that some of the bigger pieces could fetch him a cool thousand gold pieces in Veluna City. The couches were upholstered with velvet, and the paladin ran his hands over the rich, dense fabric. Yes, this was quite a well-decorated cave, thought Rodericke, a little too well-decorated.

Crandorth also felt that something was amiss. He couldn’t quite put a name to the feeling; there was simply the sense that something here was not right. It had been a long time since the druid had felt so unsure about a situation, including his run-in with Mistress Mindflayer. At no point in his servitude to the illithid did Crandorth feel like he was in danger. But this cave had something dark and menacing beneath the surface. It was then that the priest of the woods smelled the faint sense of burning herbs. He quickly looked around the room and noticed that the rest of the party had also smelled the pleasant scent.

That is when the rakshasa attacked.

It had cleverly used its natural ESP and create illusion abilities to construct the cave. The monster knew that the illusion would not hold forever; the elf and the clerics would see to that. But the rakshasa didn’t need the illusion to hold forever; it needed it to hold for a couple rounds, long enough to confuse the party and for the rakshasa to ready magic missile. Once the thief started paying close attention to the draperies, the monster knew the ambush would work.

The magic missile flew out of the rakshasa’s finger, its glowing light illuminating the cave. The ill wind of fortune blew against its target in Jindar as the magical bolt went directly into the ranger’s eye. The ranger screamed in pain as he dropped to the ground, clutching the remains of his shattered orb. The rakshasa quickly followed up the attack by castingdarknessover the ranger’s prone body, hoping to further confuse the adventurers. After casting the spell, the monster moved from its position at the back of cave; at the same time, it also dispelled the cave’s illusionary terrain, disorienting the party.

Karyn was the first to react to the ranger’s collapse and the rakshasa’s movement. Drawing her mace +2, the cleric closed the distance between herself and the monster. Mumbling a prayer to Lady Westra, the cleric swung the magical weapon. The prayer must have gone unanswered as the mace missed badly, its head crashing into the wall a couple feet above the rakshasa’s face. The impact jarred the mace loose from Karyn’s grip, the weapon falling to the ground. The ascotted tiger grinned an evil, tooth-filled grin, reached out, and touched the cleric. Karyn felt her limbs stiffen, and she was unable to move.

The rakshasa took advantage of the party’s confusion to slide back into the shadows. Once there, the monster again used its spells. This time, it conjured up a phantasmal force and send it in the direction of the halfling thief, who was taking a defensive posture along with the assassin. The halfling saw a rampaging ogre headed towards him and hid in shadows. As the ogre passed by, the thief struck. But what he struck was not the ogre, but rather the half-orc who was wondering why the thief was hiding. The short sword went deep into Drogan’s unprepared side. On instinct more than anything else, the assassin struck back, slicing a jagged wound in the thief’s chest. The deceived halfling assumed that the ogre had struck him and pressed the attack. The assassin assumed the halfling had gone insane and continued to defend himself. In only four rounds, both combatants were grievously wounded, their blood mixing together on the floor.

The raksasah had one more illusion ready. This time, it focused on the dwarven fighter. Projecting its will outward, the monster created an illusionary flickering of the air, as if something was being summoned, and then made a quite convincing orc appear. The dwarf took the bait and charged, swinging the Gobliminator at the orc. But what Dorengar hit was not an orc but instead the shocked paladin. Rodericke had no time to raise his shield, and the dwarf’s magical blade found the paladin’s flank, drawing forth a stream of dark red blood.

Once the fighters were out of the battle, the rest was mop-up for the rakshasa. A few well-timedsuggestionspells, some sharp teeth, and one more lucky magic missile made quick work of the remaining adventurers. As the dapper monster sat down to feast on the human remains, it had one other hope: that the paladin would not give him heartburn. He had eaten one two or three months ago and it had not agreed with him. The rakshasa sighed and hoped it was not getting old.

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      Tiger in an Ascot

Sing Along!

This is a song about a tiger -- a tiger in an ascot.

The cave seemed so beautiful, as happy as could be
But not a single hint or clue of the upcoming butchery . . .

Many tasteful paintings were hanging on the wall
The thief was busy calculating the value of them all
But in the air around us, there was a fragrant smell
Little did the party know we were doomed to hell!

Chorus:
A tiger! A tiger! A tiger in an ascot!
A tiger! A tiger! But he's nobody's mascot!
A tiger! A tiger! A tiger in an ascot!
A tiger! A tiger! Hope the paladin gives him gut rot!

Ranger was the first to go, magic missile in his eye
Cleric drew her +2 mace, not at all afraid to die
Swung the weapon at him, but she only rolled a 5
That miss ended any chance of getting out alive!

[chorus]

Thief stabs the assassin, assassin stabs the thief
Two more foolish victims of his telepathic feats
Fighter tries to save us with his crossbow of speed
Shot the paladin several times -- another illusionary deed!

[chorus]