Perverse Osmosis It's Not Easy Being a Minor Demon - Perverse Osmosis

It’s Not Easy Being a Minor Demon

DemonYou notice the white smudge on the ground and three ideas hit you simultaneously. The first: this is chalk. The second: it is chalk in what looks like a circle. The third, and this thought was longer, which perhaps explained why it came last: chalk plus circle equals circle of protection. You don’t know what was going to happen, but it was not going to be good.

The bone devil quickly realized what had happened; he didn’t know why, but he did know that the circle of protection had been broken and he was free, free to kill. Drim’kor attacked, swinging downward with his bone hook, cutting a long, wicked gash in the fighter’s arm.

You also smell an acrid stench, drawing your attention away from the surprising appearance of the bone devil. You watch in horror as your cleric finds herself face to face with a type II demon. The demon swings his right and then his left claw, catching the unsuspecting cleric with both. Blood flies over the cleric as the demon bites her.

Things quickly go from bad to terrible. There is a shimmering in the air, and a second bone devil appears, gated in by the first. The paladin is heroically battling, but the devils are overwhelming him. All around you, the rest of the party is either terribly injured or lying motionless. You try scrambling to cover, but it is too late.

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Your adventure has come to an end.

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      It's Not Easy Being a Minor Demon

Sing Along!

Always know where you stand, always know the chain of command
Always sit at their left hand
Never know who's the best, never know how to confess
Never know your address

Chorus:
It's not easy being a minor demon
Whether it's vrock, dretch, or rutterkin
It's not easy being a lesser devil
Whether you're bone, bearded, ice or barbed

Always filling out paperwork, always summoned by some jerk
Always doing Moloch's dirty work
Never knowing who's to blame, never letting them know your name
Never supporting Orcus's reign

[chorus]

Always obey Asmodeus's rule, always act as Greyon's tool
Always act as Dispater's fool
Never believing Graz'zt's lies, never trusting Demogorgon's eyes
Never listening to Juiblex's cries

[chorus]

Always kill the magic-users first, always drink blood to quench my thirst
Always try to do my worst
Never cast a second glance, never damaged by spear or lance
Never give the party a fighting chance

[chorus (1/2)]